sad songs.

sad songs helps me cry, it helps me reflect on what i have done and leave me to regret. but sad songs sometimes make me strong, makes me determined and makes me want to change, and be better. at this point in my life, i don't know anything anymore. how i am, what i want, i'm unsure. i need guidance, no doubt about that. right now, i'll take a step at a time, i'll be a better person, this i promise, you, my friends, my family and the world.

as i was stressing over my fyp, i had a chat with ivor.
j i n . z says:
have u ever regretted anything youve done?
[i-vor] says:
wat sense?
j i n . z says:
anything
[i-vor] says:
yes of course
[i-vor] says:
how to not live without regrets?
[i-vor] says:
we are humans! not that perfect after al
[i-vor] says:
*all
j i n . z says:
right ok
j i n . z says:
so what do u do
j i n . z says:
move on?
j i n . z says:
and just leave it all
[i-vor] says:
learn n move on
[i-vor] says:
afterall whats done is done
j i n . z says:
will time heal?
j i n . z says:
i mean will someone ever forget fully abt something
[i-vor] says:
not if that person is trying very hard to forget
[i-vor] says:
sometimes trying too hard about something does give you the opposite reaction
j i n . z says:
so what then
j i n . z says:
i mean
j i n . z says:
just go with whatever that comes
j i n . z says:
and hope things get better?
[i-vor] says:
go with the flow and let time do the rest?
j i n . z says:
hmm..alrights
[i-vor] says:
dont worry!
j i n . z says:
yea
j i n . z says:
i know
j i n . z says:
it's just the process of learning
j i n . z says:
haha
[i-vor] says:
nah.. its the process of life
[i-vor] says:
hah
j i n . z says:
yea
j i n . z says:
and i hate the unhappy parts
[i-vor] says:
haha
[i-vor] says:
learn to appreciate them?
j i n . z says:
how can someone appreciate unhappy things?
j i n . z says:
i mean they should regret and learn from it
[i-vor] says:
well in the midst of it, dont be all dead and dying? but instead know that okay, things have happened, how to make it better now? and just face the music! knowing that it will be over does help
j i n . z says:
but at times ppl still hope for a miracle right
j i n . z says:
so how then can u convince oneself that it is over
[i-vor] says:
i guess at some point, the act of hoping for a miracle proves that the person still is holding on to it
j i n . z says:
yea
j i n . z says:
so should a person hold on or let go
j i n . z says:
which is correct
[i-vor] says:
there is no correct answer silly
[i-vor] says:
its all up to ya to judge but one thing is that its not always about holding on but letting go. if its meant to be, it wont need one to cling on it
j i n . z says:
true
j i n . z says:
and words can only mean so much right, i mean a person can make up his or her mind about something but at the end of it all still change taht fact
[i-vor] says:
yeps
[i-vor] says:
saying, thinking, deciding is a big difference from doing
j i n . z says:
and what if someone actually say and does it?
j i n . z says:
can it still change?
[i-vor] says:
it shouldnt
j i n . z says:
really
j i n . z says:
ok
[i-vor] says:
so what have ya decided?
j i n . z says:
huh?
j i n . z says:
nah im just aking
[i-vor] says:
haha
j i n . z says:
pt is i wanna know if people's mindset still changes even after they have made a decision and done it
[i-vor] says:
hah
[i-vor] says:
okayy
[i-vor] says:
but each of us function and think differently
j i n . z says:
u know like suddenlythey felt they thought wrong
j i n . z says:
yea

and then johann came along and while asking how i was, he let me read a someone's blog.
http://memyselfmine.blogspot.com/
it's about this girl who lost her boyfriend while he was in the army. i don't know how many of you know about this incident but read it. it sure is saddening. i teared and sobbed, relating it to what i was going through.

least now i know you're still here in the world and i can still see and feel you around unlike her. it's a blessing that i should be contented about. for all that has happened and i have done wrong, i'll be sure to cherish whatever comes now.

hey there, the doors are still open, come on in whenever you want.