something's wrong up on cloud number 9.

i am happy.

i am enjoying school because i have awesome friends.

i am enjoying work because nothing's really new, i still have great work mates.

i am contented.

i love where i am in life now.

'well the moon is up and the stars are bright and whatever comes gonna be alright.

cos' tonight you will be mine, up on cloud number nine.

and there ain't no place that i rather be and we can't go back but you're here with me.

yea the weather's really fine, up on cloud number nine.'

dear jon, i was at kovan today and although it's been 7 months since we broke up, i had that rush of sadness all too suddenly. everywhere had memories. it was painful at that moment. i felt the tears building up. i felt the urge to hold your hand again.

and i questioned myself again if i am alright, if i have have healed and move on.

dear jon, i took you so seriously. i loved like no other and i cared like i never did before. i dont want answers or explanations anymore. i know it was a fairytale that was never meant to happen. i just want you to know that it cut like a knife. it was real and i never felt such vivid pain before.

dear jon, i had so much to deal with and to heal from. the wound will always remain but it's better now. i'll still be here by you when you need a friend. i dont care if you ever bother anymore but i just wish you'd know how i really feel about us.

dear jon, p.s. i loved you.

i cant find my shoe bag and my lucky smily faced socks :(

you know how when you look someone right in the eyes and you feel a lil' something.

perhaps you could just be falling into something you never expected.

i was so scared when i woke up hearing you vomitting so hard and loud. it reminded me so much of when i was down with virus fever for a whole week and i thought i was dying. it also reminded me of when popo said goodbye to us for the last time before she left home for the hospital and never came back. i was so scared kor. i really was. i felt lost. and for the first time in a long while, i felt so much like when i was your kid sister again back when we were younger and closer. i've always wanted you to know that i love you so much and i've always looked up to you as my elder brother.

'i think about you in the summertime'

happy songs would make me feel good for abit but then the feeling just fades when it ends. i know i am darn right good enough to be treated way better. i know i deserve the best that i can ever get. i am worthy of everything. i have to think this way, because it's by far time that i shut the negative comments of myself out of me. gone gone gone are the days where i melt oh so easily. because of one who made me realize how horrible love can be. what really was or is the point anymore.

i dont wanna be no third party. i dont wanna be a rebound. i dont wanna be for the time being. i dont wanna be more in love than you are with me. because i think ive tried many ways to grasp this fucked up thing called love and its really horribly painful.

i just wanna lock myself up with chains everywhere and not fall in love anymore.

if you could see that i'm the one who understands you

been here all along so why can't you see

you belong with me, you belong with me.