kiss and tell.

13/10/2005

daddy's out of the country.
russia.
haha.
lucky him.


bro's staying in colin's hostel tonight.
too quiet to be true.
*chuckles.


mum's watching the box.
no nagging tonight.
at least not yet.
*grins.

me?
i'm mugging.
just dropped by to add a senseless entry.
ciao! =))

daddy dearest,

if anything should happen to me in the near future, just remember that you once felt my love for you.
if you ever see me tear, leave me alone.
dont ask, for it may hurt more.
if you dont see the twinkle in my eyes no more, please know that ive tried my best.
if im not my usual bubbly self, please lend me a listening ear.
daddy dearest, you were always there for me but I just didnt know how to open up to you.
there's a lot of pain in me.
i tried to be your perfect little girl, but I guess it didnt work out.
i did all i could to make things right, but im getting really tired.
maybe im not trying hard enough or maybe things were just meant to be this way.
either way, i dont know how long more i can take this.
daddy dearest, i will always love you.
i couldnt ask for anything else.
you gave me everything i wanted.
but in return i have let you down.

gone are innocent lives.

bali bleeds again.
what's the world becoming to?
the once peaceful and safe world has been corrupted.
what's happening?
why has people change?
what has caused them to change?
what do these bombers want to sacrifice themselves?
what made them do it?
have they ever thought of the countless of innocent lives they would be takng along with them?
it's unfair.
these innocent lives were caught without warning.
they weren't given the chance to fulfil their dreams and say goodbye to their love ones.
among these precious lives, were the young and capable.
the thought of these tender lives being taken away, makes me tear.
children and teenagers are our future.
why harm them?
what have they done?
whatever happened to the love?
blood in the streets.
the sight of the affected area must have been disgusting and saddening.
bodies everywhere.
the worst thing to witness is a victim who's body is still intact but her face has been half blown away by the bomb.
she's moaning in pain, and each time she moans, blood squits out from her neck.
nothing can describe the pain and agony these victims were going through.
a beautiful little country turned into ashes with blood shed eveywhere within seconds by a powerful thing called a bomb.
perfect families broken apart.
happy holidays turned into a living nightmare.
it is no longer safe out there.
times have changed.
people have become more cunning.
it seems no one can be trusted.
it seems the world is coming to and end really soon.

from <3ing you.

i had you
i had everything
i ever needed


from my first look i knew
i found heaven in your eyes
but who was to know the way it would go
i have no regrets


i was loved
i was touched
and i learnt what love is


i was blessed
so blessed
cos' i learnt what love is
by loving you

i held you
i held everything
i ever dream of


with that first kiss from you
all this world seem so right
but who was to see the way it would be
i'll never forget
all the heaven we shared

/literature/

you know you love me.

ninety miles outside chicago.
can't stop driving,
i don't know why.
so many questions,
i need an answer.
two years later you're still on my mind.

i bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow.
watch the stars crash in the sea.
if i can ask god just one question.
why aren't you here with me.

someday we'll know if love can move a mountain.
someday we'll know why the sky is blue.
someday we'll know why i wasn't meant for you.

oneday i'll go dancing on the moon.
someday you'll that i was the one for you.

true love just once in a lifetime.
im speeding by the place that i met you for the ninety-seven time.

j u s t i n . z

looking at my brother work his arse off on his ibook, it makes me think of my life with him for the past sixteen years. My brother, unlike me, is a pure all rounder. Smart and sporty, he came from an unknown primary school, ChongSan Primary to Catholic High School to HwaChong Junior College and finally NTU. Sigh. My brother's from the Navy and his a really good athele. He plays soccer every week and goes jogging constantly. I used to hate having him as my brother. I thought it was so taxing on me. I mean think of it. Your sibling is what every parent wants and me? I turned out wrong. I used to cry over this. It felt so unfair to me. Why was it that my brother has the brains and I'm so not academically inclined? Nights of pondering and years of crying has finally made me accepted the fact that everyone is different. Though my mom has always been telling me this, I refuse to listen. But now, I do. I've learnt not to compare myself with my brother. I'm proud of him now. The thought of him as my brother, my closest sibling makes me smile. Justin, a first year NTU student taking mass communication. =)) I love my brother. No matter how we fight and yell at each other, there will always be this bond between us. I really think my brother is unique. His the kind of guy who loves to protect the environment and constantly watches the discovery channel. He reads magazines like times that my journalist father reads. My brother is very into politics. I think it's cool, having a brother lke him. I really admire him. He's the guy who looks like any other guy from the outside, but I know that many things are going on in his mind. He's a really positive man. My brother has influenced me in many ways. He thought me to play english chess and he was the one who gave me a book by Richard Carlson entitled "Don't sweat the small stuffs". He was also the guy who went to taiwan and bought me a pair of sneakers which was a size bigger. You see, all these things put a goofy smile on my face. Don't be deceived by my brother's intellectual mind and tann looks. He's really a kid at heart. Although he's smart and all, he still goes crazy like me at times. We are still our parents little treasure at home. In one way or another, we resemble each other. I'm definitely thankful for having my brother.