many a times i wish my life was like one of the rich and famous people. well mainly i wish for a carefree life. i wish i was an easier person, one who has simple goals and i wasnt too ambitious. maybe then i wouldnt have so many thoughts and worries.

i am contented at where i am today, no doubt about it but it's been awhile now and i still feel unsettled. it's like everything's here but i cant seem to figure out still where and what belongs around me. it's like im still disoriented, im in need for an oragnization project of some sort.

and then i finally got my first ever gold medal. a dream come true, something in which i always thought was just a mere dream, something i always thought was unreachable. but it came through. too shocked for words, i dont know to what degree of happiness i am in. i know i worked for it and it know it took years of practice in order for the achievement. i know people out there have seen where i came from and they sincerely am happy congratulating me on my winning but when it all died down, i looked back and i tell myself that a gold medal with that timing that i did was not acceptable because honestly, i know i an perform better than that. the drive is there to push on, i hope i really hope that i can do it for nationals and then maybe i would then just have the chance to move in to something bigger.

but for now, i have an assignment due soon and a whole lot of readings to do. sigh.