one day im gonna be able to tell someone that 'my heaven's with you'.

i realise now, that it wasn't love. it was convenience. you are as cruel as can be and as wicked as ever. you dont't care for me, you care only for yourself. i hope one day you will realise this harsh truth and regret terribly for what you have done to me.

moving on, i am doing my very best. please.

i am being blown away by jessie j's vocals.

music: taylor swift: last kiss

"i feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe"

having just watched black swan, it made me think about what's to happen now to myself. yea sure, i can hurt forever and sit in this black hole of mine forever. but then who's gonna wanna pity me? being pathetic doesnt mean you'll come back. it doesnt mean that i win and that everyone's got my back. i can think of giving up, i can think of letting everything i have go but no one is really gonna care.

i have been crying way too much and being sore for way too long. i need to get back on track now. i was tired of hurting but i'm getting tired of mopping around too. what's the point? nothing is happening. my life is stagnant.

so here i am again, telling myself to clean up. i may have fallen way too many times but i tattooed hope for a reason and my permenant script on my ankle means too much to me to give myself up.

i have a choice to give up or take control and i want the latter. i wont die trying but i'll just keep my head up and do my best. i suddenly remember why i should be stronger than before. if so much pain has been inflicted on me before and i am still here today, it's gotta mean so much more about myself don't it.

so what if i'll never know how to be something you miss. so what if i'll always be wondering how we could have been happy. so what if i cried too much and loved you forever. you'll never know, look back or appreciate me.

i am way better, i have to always remember that.

i'll hold on to memories, i'll wait as long as i possibly can. but right now i will work on myself.

"and i hope the sun shines and its a beautiful day

and something reminds you, you wish you had stayed"

i said screw you valentine's day.

but my awesome friends have been by me all this while. they have been helping to heal me and make me feel better.


from cassandra:
ok here jin. must be touched ok because its so gross and it doesnt rhyme but who cares. HAHAHAH.

so dont you worry your golden little horsetail
people throw rocks at things that shine (your braces)
but the jury's out, my choice is you
...this friendship is ours.

'cause I love the way your eyes become like lines
and how you always make my day
so dont you care about what people say
they don't see you like I dooooooo ~~



from dawn: she surprised me! called me very unexpectedly and told me to go downstairs. bff had picked me up a stalk of rose and drove to my place before heading home just to make me cheer up and feel better!



how can i not feel better when i have them all :)

maybe when i think i've come around and have recovered, then i'll post it all up.

you made me love you over and over again and again and then you break me all the time.

pls tell jin zhuang tat i miss and love and adore her very much

also let her know kenny wans commitment and wans nobody nobody but her.

just let her know i love her.

and this time,its for real and for good.

U never understand the true meaning of losing someone u love until u can love someone more than u love urself.

I dun wanna lose u Jin.

I ensure there's no more heart ache or heart break.I'll make u feel like u r the only girl in my world.hugs.it'll all be smooth sailing.I'm ready to give us a status

Baby I wan ice cream too!haha.let's go tau huay n icecream n durian when I'm home.haha.evil u.now lips abit swollen.haha.

Jin,u think we'll ever work out?I wanna make this last.really do.no second thoughts about this.

she gave him all she had left,

Even risked being broken again

The truth was all that she wanted,

But that was just a price too high for him to pay.

Don’t tell her you’re sorry,

You know as well as she does, that you aren’t.

Don’t tell her you love her,

Because you don't destroy the people you love

How does it make you feel,

To know you’re the one breaking her heart?

maybe you could hear me out again, hold me and then tell me it'll be alright.

if this hurt dont stop soon i will die. if the tears wont stop soon i will drown. im running out of masks to put on, i am running out of time, my pain is catching up and im losing it.