the legendary king of pop; michael jackson.

i never knew you, michael jackson, but yet i feel the lost following your sudden death.

utterly lost for words and the heavy feeling of sadness shoots through me now and then whenever im reading about your news and listening to your music. your greatness is reflected everywhere, be it seen or heard. your name rings a bell in everyone's head.

here i am, suddenly caught up about wanting to know and understand more about you. searching for news and scrambling to listen in to your greatest hits. i may never have paid much attention to you but really and truly, i was oblivious. for i did not realise that songs that i loved and felt so much about were songs by you. that soothing voice that helped inspired me and spin my emotions round and round in my life was you.

you were a legend in many different ways. you were an example of a great artist. the life you had under the media wasnt an easy one and though no one will truly know the real you or what really when on in your life, i believe that yes, you were really an ordinary man who had ordinary great dreams and who wanted to make a change. you were like anyone else, just that you took a great step forward and became a representative figure of the world. yet, everyone knows that life isnt fair and the ups and downs came. you are only human and with the stress and the pushing, no one can or should at all blame you for loosing grip.

if only things were simple, perhaps you would have led a truly happy life and show the world your capabilities of the wonderful father you were. i dont know you michael but i believe that whatever you may have done, right or wrong, you had a great angelic side because it reflects in your music. you gave music that had deep felt meanings and were inspirational. you brought music that brought about change and messages that connected the world. i am so proud of you.

well for as long as i live, michael jackson, you would always be the legendary king of pop in my era. like how my parents prolly felt for elvis presley. when my kids look back in time to come, they may not know or understand your sound but i know i would.

i really do admire your strength, courage and talent for creating such an impact in the world. now really, who can forget that 'moonwalk' you left the world screaming for?

xoxo to you MJ

what's left to do now.

thursday morning; 25 june 2009; 12.19am

it's 1 day to NUS invitationals and really what's there for me to do now is to take it easy, rest, focus and to simply have fun.

months ago, i was at ground zero scrambling to pick up the pieces in which i have left shattered for a long long time. now you see, i was never a champion winner but merely one that was just always there to complete and if you wanna make it sound bad, you could even say that i was there to add to the numbers. I have been at ground zero for a long time and seriously, who doesn't get tired of not being able to perform. somehow from within me, i always knew i could pursue my hopes and goals and perform much better. somehow from within me, there was always that passion of flame that kept burning and never died. That kept me coming back each year for more and even more hungry for something more.

now here i am, just 1 day again to NUS invitationals and this time around, i feel so much differently. i am prepared and i am confident. yea sure, i still do have butterflies in my tummy but hey, it's different now. i know for sure.

my mental strength is much stronger now and i guess i can control my emotions better as well. with the help of a stronger and more determined team than before, we have all grown so much together with the help of jeremy, our awesome possum coach. i cant tell you how grateful for just being part of this family really. we may not see or feel it but we have helped one another grow so much stronger and i forsee that we are so much more prepared for the upcoming competitions.

'now i wont give up and i wont give in; not at all. i'll be there giving my all and channeling all my emotions and strength to give it my very best shot. i can, i will and i must. i will be the art of power. for you, for me, for us.'

xoxo

all the world's a stage, and all men and women; merely players.

once upon a time, i had the world seemingly planned out for me. it was one stage after another, easy peasy. i didnt have to worry much about what would lie ahead for i knew there was something planned, something for me and my friends. it was that once upon a time in which we had all been in a 'safety zone' where could only explore and go that far.

now once upon a now however, things have changed. the 'safe zone' has magically been lifted away and we are all suddenly alone. it is now that we realise how much there is to life and reality, how much we have yet to see. so many decisions to make and so much to grow up to become.

at 20 years of age, i cant believe how fast time has flew by me and i am still pretty shaken at how fast i have to adapt at where i am today. there are no more safety nets to catch me if i fall now, i am alone. whatever decisions i decide to make, i cannot afford to make mistakes because now, i plan my future and whats to become of me in time to come. as easy it may sound and be done, it really isnt at all. suddenly all sorts of thoughts fill my mind and really, it freaks the hell out of me. yea, i guess it is fun to be able to finally plan my life but it isnt so fun and all that exciting to know that there is not much of a space for failure to come in at all.

i guess im not alone and thats calms me in a way. take one step at a time; i shall and i hope i have learnt and gone through enough in my past years to make wise decisions to lead me to my own wall of success.

here's to you, b.

it's been a rollercoaster nine months plus ride and i thank you so much for making me see and learn so much in a relationship. our age gap has been a challenge for me but that only made me grow up faster and be less of that selfish girlfriend i used to be. i can proudly say that this is a serious relationship in which i can see a future in. perhaps it may be one sided and only i see where all this can be headed but nevertheless, you really are a turning point in my life. it may be ever so bitter for me but come what may and whatever that happens in time to come, i swear i take away a lot from 'us' and i have morphed into someone i never saw till now. i heart you, and i really hope it last <3

xoxo