sentosa's christmas party. 26/12/2006

i had no freaking intention to consume any drop of alcohol that night.
honestly, i wanted to be sober and up partying.

i met jess, august, jason, dex, adrian and twang at dhoby ghaut where august, jason and adrian were playing arcade where jess, dex and i were bored and dying from the horrible noise while waiting for twang to arrive. anyway, we left for sentosa altogether.

dex got a pretty red nike dunks for twang. i like it :)

it was raining. cold and wet party.

we arrived late. the people were eating, BUT, we were in time for the alcohol.
shheesshh...

and there i was happily jeering mark on to down more black labor with twang and sucking on my candy cane. the next thing i knew, there was a so called "lucky draw". i ended up having to down like 1/3 cup full of like what...70% of ABSINTHE totally NEAT, with no popping whatsoever. F***ED UP CAN.

they had to take a freaking photo of me some more. LOL. WTH.

the next thing i knew, i was sucking on ice and thankfully, harry ran down to get me a bottle of water.

i continued to suck on candy canes and insisting that i was ok when i already knew that i was getting HIGH and insanely RED. hmm...

but really, i was ok (to a certain extent). i was just HIGH ENOUGH to STILL THINK can.

but no, everyone thought i wasnt ok. WTH. I REMEMBERED EVERYTHING I FREAKING SAID TO EVERYONE lor. i remembered the LAP DANCES, DEXTER SHAKING ME BY THE SHOULDERS AND TELLING ME THAT I AM GOING TO STAY OVER and the me walking back to the office and teling jen that i wanted to puke but i couldnt and in the end, i still ended up running to the bushes to puke my arse off.

they then insisted that i cabbed home with ben chan, royston and seb. and i did. three hunks as my bodyguards. WHY NOT :))

HAHAHA!

it's funny how i was high and i could still insist that i talk to sam that night.

steph said something about loving to take photos with me when i am high.
WHY AR???

tears.

you finally called.

"maybe we weren't meant to be."

it hurt baby and im tearing.
like you would believe me.
no matter how much i say, i guess to you it'a all just a load of rubbish.

why in the fucking world does love actually exsist?
you brought me in and you ended it.
and now, im just left alone, helpless, for i never quite understood anything.
you wont say, and no one else knows, so what am i to do?

how can i pretend that nothing happen?
because it did.
three months meant so much, i saw a freaking future.
you crushed it.

you dont believd me no more.

i cannot say how much it fucking hurts.
sometimes i go crazy.

sometimes i force myself to believe that things will get better when i know it wont.

so much for my happy endings..i know you are happy now without me.

i am probably deem as the bad guy.

if i cry you a river, would you believe me?

our memories makesme smile still.

music: jojo: too little too late

woke up at 9.45am
was supposed to head down to sentosa to help grazzie with some party stuff.
but i figured that it was kinda ridiculous to go down so late because i was meeting dawn at noon at vivo city.
so i stayed home and made a huge sandwich in which i shared a portion with mermaid. (haha! she was 'oggling' at it! i couldnt resist her puppy eyes.)
so now here i am, thinking of corny but yet sincere messages for the boys and girls or sentosa.
mermaid has decided to seek shelter and make herself cosy. im alone.


i'll be going for a chalet tonight. more pictures!

on rainy days...

it had been a boring monday.
i swear i was seriously bumming around.

i was supposed to do christmas shopping with stanley, but that dumbass suddenly called to say that he had some work to rush and would meet me in the evening instead.
since i was rather moodless plus restless, i decided that i would tag along with kim to her workplace at marina square, anderson's to slack and just 'chill' (if you would call it).

I had went to trim my fringe in the early afternoon with her simply because I decided I had nothing much to do. Oh well...i had wanted to go for a straight cut but then..damn...i totally dont know what happened. anyway, i look the same. bleah!
then we walked around heartland mall simply because it was still early and we had to kill time. we ended up making identical necklaces which cost the same price for each other and deemed it as a christmas. goodness!





at her workplace, i had a piece of strawberry cake and i had specially bought cleo from guardian along the way so i could read it at the cafe ans try to kill time. LOL. all because stanley was late. sigh!






after two freaking hours, stanGAY finally arrived. goodness, he had some waffle ice cream thingie before we decided that we didnt wanna have suppser with kim because that would mean we had to wait till 10pm. so we left and headed to wheelock place because i had to send my fuggly useless cellie to the nokia care centre. shitty.

we then walked in the pouring rain to pacific plaza becuase stanley's watch decided that it was the perfect timing to give up on him. so we had to go to fossil to mend his dumb watch. guess what, it was CLOSED when we got there. ARRWW MAN....

it was a lousy day la. the stupid rain ruined it all. not to mention, dampened my mood. i thought of kenny on the train ride back. all the way. sigh sigh!

OFF.

monday.
18/12/2006.

it's my off day. or rather, i couldn't get a shift to work. maybe i should try looking for another lifeguarding job. haha.

anyway, dawn's got a match in rp in the evening. i've got gym training with my wallies. so, i guess i'll meet her later :)

jesse's results are coming out today. i wish her all the best.

sam's at work, i have no clue about kevin.

dexter's out shopping alone in JB i think.

gladys isn't free and i don't know why.

kim has work in the evening but she has agreed to go out with me :) thanks babe.

stanley isn't gonna wake up anytime soon, so i'm contemplating if i should still go out with him. HEH.



he said something that really hit me hard last night when we spoke on the phone. i guess his life is much better without me. i am hopeless. baby baby...i wanna sit under the stars with you and just kiss you ever so gently on the cheek. will it ever happen again?



its 11:17am and i'm listening to the soundtrack of 'step up' while waiting for kim.

shattered and torn.

you've been clubbing and drinking hell lot baby.
i've got no more say.




so sam's back and i've been out with him.
i caught 'THE HOLIDAY' with sam and kevin koo on thursday night after work.
the show was good, but i kinda fell asleep a little. lol. i couldn't help it, i was freaking tired!



my handphone has officailly given up on me and is giving me a hell lot of trouble now. dang! i've got to send it for repair. then again, my parents wanted me to do so. i so want a PDA cellie!




anyway, i had worked late shift today. bloody hell, it was hot! thanks to the stupid wind, it blew away the rain. shheesshh..and i was at zone 10 can! meaning...no freaking proper shade at all! then junjie, that uncle (HAHA!), decided that he wanted to torture my already dumb lousy cell phone.

let's pretend that i've moved on.

i totally love the hols :)
the hella great days are here again.
work, play, chill and train.
i tell you....i cant ask for more.

anyways, i guess life went on for me.
the smile is back on and so is the noise in me.
the hols started last wednesday for me.
i took a two day break before returing to work on friday and ahh well...ive been working ever since.
the good thing is im off for tomorrow and wednesday.

plans:

TOMORROW
-get a morning call from jesse at 8am.
-head down to sentosa with her.
-jog 6km.
-TANNING.
-play aquapark. (LOL)
-surf.
-swim.
-leave at 4pm for training in school. (shheesshh)
WEDNESDAY
-wait for dear sam to come home.
-and wait and wait and wait.
-well, sam's suppose to take me out...hmm...
-clubbing with paris, rachelle, samantha blah blah blah..goodness knows who would turn up.

two days of slcaking and fun and i'll be back at work again..i guess all the way from thurs to sunday, and perhaps, more.

MODULE SELECTION for YEAR TWO.

Year 2 DSLM Core-Specialization Modules

Semester 1
S242 Events & Facilities Management
S244 Sports Business
S331 Sports & Leisure Related Law
S382 Leisure Planning & Programming





I DID MY MODULE SELECTION FOR YEAR TWO SEMESTER ONE BABY :)
not to mention after much hassle and deep deep thoughts. hmm...
i met DR (charming and teriffic smelling) DANIEL with chucky and his classmate, geraldine.

it was culture module and we were working in the library during breakout.

WHILE THEY WORKED THEIR ARSES OFF, WE CAM-WHORED :P




MY HUMBLE LUCNCH, SPICKY WEDGES AND STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE.




RACHELLE'S AND SAM'S ROMANTIC LUNCH SHARING SESSION AT CAFE GALILEE.










PARIS HILTON AND NICOLE RICHIE DOING THEIR 'THING' EH?







HEY PARIS, WHAT WERE YOU DOING?





JUST ONE KISS...PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE SAM?




"READY GIRLS? OKAY!" CHEERLEADING BABYYY!





WE LIKE SMALL TALK.










WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

my favourite girl :)

samantha & i CAM-WHORING IN,OUT & DURING meetings.

music: bon jovi: thank you for loving me

ive been listening to slow, sad love songs over and over again.
yea, they always said that it would make you feel worst, but i beg to difer.
it brings back fond memories and most of all, it helps me cry it all out.

why'd you gotta be the one who makes me feel unpretty now?
im trying to do all the right things nowadays.
i swim it all out.
doing laps up and down the pool and flashbacks of memories still come to mind.
why babe?

i tell dexter that i find it hard to go to work.
why?
when i see my locker, i see you. the cute lil' care bear you made for me still remains. the pictures we took are still stuck to it too. I arranged them babe. I made them look pretty.
i dont wanna tell others how the fairytale ended.
it cuts like a knife and i tear.

i loved you.
did you see that right?
i wonder.