starry eyed surprise.

just know that you are not in this thing alone.

there's always a place in me that you can call home.

whenever you feel like we're growing apart.

let's just go back back back to the start.

anything that's worth having

sure enough worth fighting for

quitting's out of the question

when it gets tough gotta fight some more.

i fell in love with something so precious, myself.

you don't just wake up one morning feeling happy because of nothing. it's the things that you've gone through that shapes everything to how it is today. it may have taken far too long but i am contented knowing that all this while, i was running as fast as i could to my destination.

i've hit many bumps and bruised myself way too many times in the past but i could make it work now. i am glad and shall not be regretful of what i have gone through and experienced. if you have been nice to me and done me no wrong, always know that i appreciate you. but if you have wronged me and caused me hurt, i still appreciate you for you have made me realize and grew stronger.

i took a leap of faith and held it on my own. by myself, i discovered so much more.

i stretched myself way more and really am more confident and happy than before.

i am blessed that i have been strong enough to not have slipped into depression. i am thankful that with each tear that i've cried, i let go of unwanted hatred and anger. i see things in different perspectives and have so much more hope in me.

i inked 'hope' in hopes holding on to faith and getting me through ugly times. i made it.

i love my friends so much and i can never thank them enough for standing by me. now if i could only capture the attention of that one boy, i'm hoping that i will finally be complete.

i am very happy at where i am now. the past happened for reasons and i appreciate them all now because i ended up being stronger and better. i see so much more now and have learnt to handle things way better than before. i once upon a time gave everything i could, got my heart all screwed up and did stupid foolish things before but it's all good now. i did my part and if they didnt see and feel it, too bad. ive moved along and it really is your lost now. nothing that happened in the past bothers me now. i am looking ahead and never looking back. what lies ahead will be awesome now because i will make sure i make mighty right decisions.

too much of the good stuff isn't all that good at all. i thought i moved on to something better, where i would definitely do better and be as happy or if not happier. it might have been a wrong timing, it may not have been fated at all but it has got me confused. i know how reality usually hits one so hard that you get shaken and doubt yourself. it has hit me one too many times and i still can't get use to the harsh truths in life. i can't help time and time again that i am soft hearted, i give in easily and i care too much about what others think.

it may have been my fault for not being able to draw a clear line, but i've never meant for it to be bad. i'm sorry that i can never stop loving a team i grew up with, sorry that i'll never stop making new friends and build bonds with them. everyone is special in their very own ways and i'll create an everlasting friendship and love with whoever who appreciates it and wants to keep it.

the beauty in lifesaving is that it can be a competitive sport and yet at the same time, it can be a profession, a never ending learning journey where we can help and save lives. i've always respected the sport, being so impress that unlike other sports, the athletes here seemed more friendly and warm. i've never really heard of lifesavers being arrogant and snobby, walking around with an 'air' around them and that is what makes me really proud of the sport too. it really isn't all about winning all the time, but it's the experience learnt and gained.

i may have been affected by your words, but i appreciate your harshness. i shall take it and learn from it. i won't let it get to me now, i'll turn it around and make it positive. i deserved what i worked for. it may have been because of help from others but ultimately, i worked so hard for it on my own too and it was my chance and it was my time.

that medal i got, it was mine. it was what i worked for and no one can take it from me. and yea, i hope it shuts people up too.

it's time i focus and direct my energy and appreciation to those who truly cares and got my back no matter what.

i'll never ever get over darwin.

because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again.

a team like this is impossible to find.

i won't ever change my mind.

i guess maybe i wish you didn't even bother calling to wish me well. you didn't even care right from the start, so why bother trying to catch up all at once now. each time i hear from you, i can't help but feel angry some how. i don't wanna care no more, i'm putting all of it behind me. it's gone, over for good because i don't deserve what you put me through and how you treated me. i am not how you perceive me, always behind you and never better. maybe it's time you woke up and try to make things right.

hey mate!

I AM SO EXCITED NOW!!! THE TRAININGS WERE SO PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTING AND I NEVER SEEM TO HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO REST AND RECOVER. THEN CAME ALONG MY SCHOOL ESSAY ASSIGNMENT IN WHICH I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN GRANTED AN EXTENSION IN THE DATELINE SO I HAD TO FINISH IT BEFORE I FLY TONIGHT. THAT REALLY WAS MENTALLY DRAINING. DAY AND NIGHT, I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL TIREDNESS. NOT TO MENTION, I STILL HAD MY COACHINGS GOING ON. I AM STILL HERE NOW, I PULLED THROUGH! I MAY NOT HAVE HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO BE EXCITED ABOUT THE ARAFURA GAMES IN DARWIN AUSTRALIA BUT IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO BE NOW. I AM HAVING THE JITTERS, I AM NERVOUS, I AM BURSTING WITH HAPPINESS, I AM AFRAID I WILL MISS HOME, I AM PARANOID THAT I WILL FORGET SOMETHING, I AM GRINNING WIDELY AND I AM NOT STOPPING ANYTIME SOON.

WHOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!

family; precious.

it's now or never, i am strong enough.

even if no one bothers or agrees, i can give myself a great pat on the back and be very proud of myself. i attended every training and i gave everything. i have overcome my fears and i'm not holding back anymore. i am going the distance, i am over stretching. i am doing everything and much more.

i don't think i have felt so exhausted from trainings before and i have definitely never felt so determined and sure of myself before at all. i am glad i made it, i am glad i stuck through everything.

my mind has been thinking that i have had enough, but my heart has been telling me don't give up. things do get better through whatever. if you fall, dust it off. i am my own miracle.