too much of the good stuff isn't all that good at all. i thought i moved on to something better, where i would definitely do better and be as happy or if not happier. it might have been a wrong timing, it may not have been fated at all but it has got me confused. i know how reality usually hits one so hard that you get shaken and doubt yourself. it has hit me one too many times and i still can't get use to the harsh truths in life. i can't help time and time again that i am soft hearted, i give in easily and i care too much about what others think.

it may have been my fault for not being able to draw a clear line, but i've never meant for it to be bad. i'm sorry that i can never stop loving a team i grew up with, sorry that i'll never stop making new friends and build bonds with them. everyone is special in their very own ways and i'll create an everlasting friendship and love with whoever who appreciates it and wants to keep it.

the beauty in lifesaving is that it can be a competitive sport and yet at the same time, it can be a profession, a never ending learning journey where we can help and save lives. i've always respected the sport, being so impress that unlike other sports, the athletes here seemed more friendly and warm. i've never really heard of lifesavers being arrogant and snobby, walking around with an 'air' around them and that is what makes me really proud of the sport too. it really isn't all about winning all the time, but it's the experience learnt and gained.

i may have been affected by your words, but i appreciate your harshness. i shall take it and learn from it. i won't let it get to me now, i'll turn it around and make it positive. i deserved what i worked for. it may have been because of help from others but ultimately, i worked so hard for it on my own too and it was my chance and it was my time.

that medal i got, it was mine. it was what i worked for and no one can take it from me. and yea, i hope it shuts people up too.

it's time i focus and direct my energy and appreciation to those who truly cares and got my back no matter what.