tranquility.

when everything seems to be a rollercoaster ride,

stop and take a step back.

look around and just watch.

take a breather,

you will realize it isn't all that tough at all.

one step and a time,

climb the steps.

in this road of life,

you only have yourself to hold on to tightly.

giving up would be throwing everything away.

if you could read into the future, would you do it?

would it allow you to run away and avoid bad stuffs that's to come?

would it make life better?

would you get what you want?

hello durban, south africa, i'll never get to meet you.

sometimes i wish that yesterdays never ended. i knew i wouldn't get selected for commonwealth games, i knew jolly well that i went for the trials out of sportsmanship and of course to meet up with the team but i guess now that the results are out in my face, it does stings and it does sucks to know that i am not going to durban, south africa. my heart feels kinda heavy and it brings a frown to my face. blahh...oh wells. however, i do sincerely congratulate all that has made it in and i do wish you guys all the best.

samantha halley.

dawn.

minhui.

sheena.

'the sun goes down

the stars come out

and all that counts is here and now

my universe will never be the same

i'm glad you came.'

LGBT; pink dot singapore

we don't pick what's to come, we shall embrace it all.

a moment, a love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs.

it's a black out blur but i'm pretty sure it ruled.

last friday night

we went streaking in the park

skinny dipping in the dark

then had a menage a trios

last friday night

yeah i think we broke the law

always say we're gonna stop-op

whoa-oh-oah

this friday night

do it all again

this friday night

do it all again

inner peace.

what does that really mean?

i've settled, i've reflected and realize my mistakes and recognize my strengths. i know what i want now. i am sure, very certain that i am on the right path. so what do i still feel incomplete? what's missing? what's wrong? i feel at ease, but still fidgety now and then. i miss the affections that i got but i jolly well know that it wasn't right or good for me. it takes me alot of control to stop myself from giving in. i find myself frustrated, not understanding why is it that i still don't feel whole. i refuse to give up, i refuse to back now. i don't want to break down the walls i've worked so hard to build around. i don't get why people try to go after you but they don't make sincere efforts or even go the extra mile. i am worth it tell myself, if i mean that much to you, show me and i'm sure this broken heart of mine will try.

i don't know if confessions are worth making right now. a huge part of me wish i could one day tell a story of us but i really don't have a clue on what page you are on.

it's so early and i am so sleepy still.

i do think back at times to what i once had. i think of how i was happy with you and what we shared. i think of how now i regret not treasuring you and giving my best. it makes me sad, my heart is heavy. but then i tell myself it all happened for a reason. it turned out this way because something was telling me to pick up my pace and race to the right one. i may just be deceiving myself, i may really just be afraid to face the truth but i hope, and that's what gets me through now.

i wanna have my sunshining rainbow and unicorns day too. i wanna find you.

mermaid.

hey baby girl, i love you more than anything else in the world. you are my bundle of joy and colours of rainbow when i am down and out. stay with me long time ok?

i haven't blogged about my fabulous trip to darwin thinking that if i do so, it would be the final end of it all. stupid as it seems, i find it hard to pen it all down in words. no amount or kind of words can truly describe what i experienced in aussie. i'll get to doing it soon, i hope.

it's annoying how i'm afraid that i might just be falling back to my black hole again. i'm loosing focus, feeling very off track in terms of emotions. just about the only thing that perks me up and makes me feel happy and at ease is training. the other day i was out at sea paddling with some of the guys from team sg. it's been awhile and i still remember the first time i went out of the lagoon. the feeling was exactly the same, carefree. it was that easy to plaster a huge grin on my face. the waves took my worries away and i just didn't think of anything at all. i was in a moment and loving it again and again. we were just paddling, we were just talking and laughing. no thinking and worrying. time stood still and there we were, being captivated by mother nature.

i wish everyday was just like that. being simple and happy. no drama but just the sun, sand and sea. ahhhh...i wish i wish i was easy to read and you would know how i am feeling.

i am annoyed now because i didn't save the photos that team sg took yesterday before restoring my iphone. all gone. arrgghh. every moment is precious to me, you guys are precious. sigh.

is it alright that i feel lonely?

have a little faith.

i let those tears fall, i gave it my all

i fell the hardest, i found how strong i am

close my eyes, rest awhile, it's been a long long day