let's talk about grace.

with platform shoes that high, they blance and walk in it with such perfect poise.
with silk that soft and thick, they wear it with such respect and grace.
with make up so fine and thick, they never leak out any secrets of their life.
with hair so black and neat, it never gets our of place.
with such skill and beauty, they turn heads and capture attention.
with a single stroke of a hand, they portray such elegance.
agile and slender.
poise and grace.
class and perfection.
memoirs of a geisha.
they really do prove themselves worthy.

do you remember.

have you ever wondered why i gave three wishes to you.
you asked the question but the answer lie in you.



dear no one in particular,
ever felt lost and miserable? like you fell into a big drain and couldnt get up? you are stuck, feeling cold and alone. i feel like i am in that particular situation. i feel cold when it's warm and i shiver because of nothing. sigh. i wish i'll get out of this whole sticky situation really soon. i need a hand to pull me up. and for once, i wish and pray that amanda will help me up. i love that girl. somehow, in tough times like this, she always seem like the right person to turn to. babe, get me out of this black hole. lead me on the right path once again.

never ever ever ever ever felt so low when you are gonna take me out of this black hole.
never ever ever ever ever felt so sad the way i'm feeling you got me feeling really bad.
the way i'm feeling just dont feel right.

friday night. no smile is plastered on my face. where's the cheery little girl in me? i need help. desperately. my mind is in a mess. i need a shoulder to cry on. i need a friend, a hug and a soothing song.

today, i just wanna be alone. cry my eyes out and pity myself. today, i wanna pick myself up on my own. tomorrow would be a different story.

slip.

opportunities come and go.
ive let many slip by me.
i shall not let that happen no more.
now, when i see an open pathway before me, i shall grab that chance.
im growing up and time is flying be me.
i want to live my teenage years to the fullest.
as much as i hate to grow up, i know no amount of praying and wishing will help.
slip by me no more.
i'll be there.

confession of a teenage drama queen.

somewhere i belong.
clueless and torn.
i'm beginning to realize that maybe i dont know myself well.
what do i really want out of me?
puzzling thoughts.
night after night i think of my past and the present.
who am i?
it seems many people i meet have only seen one side of me.
many a times i wish i could just yell out to the world that i exist and simply let loose.
but then it would hit me that this is reality.
i cant continue to live in my fairytale.
i have to get back down and realize that maybe somethings just cant go my way.
as much as i wish and hope that i can let some people understand how i feel and want, i know it may just not be possible.
but then again, if i do not try, they will never know.
anyways, i'm getting use to life without going to school for the time being.
oh well, ive heard ms nora has left school. gosh i'll be missing her.
ive started working as a lifeguard at sentosa.
really fun.
i'm learning and communicating.
im begining to go out of that protected zone ive lived in for the past sixteen years of my life.
new things come into sight and new thoughts and changes occur.
i hope i'll still stay true to myself.
i am thankful though that i have friends to remind me of where i stand.
friends that give me constant reminder to stay focus and reject unwanted bad influences.
ive learnt to accept and love people the way they are.
everyone has a dirty little secret in them.
i can take that. haha.
i love my life and im determined to find out why jiawei is tired of living. heh.


ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE AND ALL MEN AND WOMEN MERELY PLAYERS.

1st of january 2006.

had lunch with my parents and my cousin, kevin, at some japanese resturant.
kevin's speaks with an accent :)
he's flying back to australia tomorrow night.
i'm gonna miss him.
time really flies.
it always seem like it was just yesterday that we were little and chasing each other around.
now we have drifted. i'm sixteen while he's twenty-seven. big age gap. that probably figures why.

had dinner at hyatt, straits kitchen, buffet.
mommy bought me an expensive gift, a two hundred dollar guess leather bag. it's making me feel really guilty.

we fought again today.
it seems like everything is going wrong nowadays.
i dont even know what i've done wrong.
depression is creeping in.


where'd you go?
i've missed you so.
seems like it's been forever that you've been gone.
please come back home.