dear babes,

sorry babes.

i try and i try to cry, but the tears ain't flowing no more. i feel so bad. i feel too hurt, too much pain to say anything. im bleeding inside, can anyone tell? i save lives, but yet i cant save myself. tell me why you did all those things, tell me everything, i want to build a world around you. i wanted to feel loved like you had once said.

dear world, now i look at myself in the mirror and wonder what is wrong with me. i tell myself to wake up and move on like you have, but im stuck. i dont want no one's help. i yearn so much to be loved and be craddled in your arms. but no, i will not get them no more.

and so i sit and watch on as you move along with life, ive been sitting here, havent you noticed? ive been the one who screams and shed the tears. ive been that invinsible girl who sits around and watch you, the one who so wanted to make things right. why didnt you wait babe? why didnt you wait for me?

im finally feeling the tears. in seconds, i'll be crying. ive really built a wall around my heart that will only break apart for you. it sucks and you may hate it, but i cant help it. ive got a queue babes, but i see only you.

there are like a hundred things that i so want to tell you, but i know you wont be there to listen anymore. you'll be tied up, in the arms of another. im chucked aside like a rag doll.

i want to whisper i love you over and over again, i want to hold you close and run my fingers through your hair. i want the most to lean in deep and breathe in your smell. it had always been comforting, so right.

my stomach feels hungry no more. im frowning too much. my mind is spinning and i just want to keep crying.

i pray for something to happen, i pray for you. i tell myself that im ok, that i'll get throught this, but i know i wont.

today, i did something right. i made myself feel respected.

babes, i miss you.