and here goes, my days are quite aimless. i wanted to start 2011 with a bang, with a direction and a positive smile each day. but i realise there are so many things that are still so blurry and i need answers to go on. i'll take each day at a time. i may be miserable as can be now, but im doing my best not to give up. it really is heavy and difficult but i cant die in my sleep now so yea.
a new year, a fresh week and the start of school again today. also, sam and shannon got married. ROM and i had the honour of being sam's witness :) i couldnt help feeling so joyfully happy, but a tingle of sadness was present in me nontheless as i feel the sense of dejection and thinking of this day for me might just never come through. pathetic as it sounds, but yes i felt that way. side note, congrats sam and shannon, be blessed and happy. love ya'll.
the only thing that make me feel that tab better better about myself today was lecture. dr low and his classes, awesome. and as pathetic as it can get yet again, the fact that he talked to me and mentioned how he loved the way i dressed today, really perked me that much more and made me feel happy. yea i know, im that sad. im very determine to sink into my school books and sink in my misery. oh wells.
i'm trying to perk myself with nice happy songs like i always do, but doesnt seem to be working. i can feel that bag of rocks on my back, i feel locked up still.
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