music: mtv all stars: what's going on

swimming ivp 2008.
perhaps, it was a performance that was to be applauded for. perhaps, we had all done well, though to us, it was always stagnant. settling down from everything, from the very handsome guys and pretty girls with bodies that one could die for, to the sun that was burning down on us and the gorgeous swimsuits and trunks/jammers that were had been carried out diffeently on each individual swimmer, i can finally evaluate my performance on a whole.

so last year, was my very first swim meet. i was new, pretty scared out of my wits what with the meet being held at rp itself, i was probably retarded looking. those old birds were prolly thinking what an invader i was, to have suddenly shown my face in the middle of all the already familiar faces to them all. anyways, to cut it all short, i had the guts to take on more events this year and i really think that i have performed better, what with all the improved timings :) i could have done better i guess, with more proper practice but..things happen..arrgghh!

they say lifesavers dont mix with the swimmers because after all, we are of different 'categories'. i guess i woudl agree to a certain extent but as much as many might agree with this saying, there are the many others too who beg to differ. i would say, go figure, i have my own take on this too.

to put a close to this chapter of ivp swimming, i woudl just to say that i so cant wait for the lifesaving season :)




have you ever felt like crap for no apparent reason? you feel lost, your thoughts are jumbled and you just cant decide on what you are doing at all. i hate these feelings. i loose control. i cant think right, in fact, i dont even know what is going through my mind. i teared when lying right beside you love. you asked why and i said i didnt want you to leave. was that the real reason?

now that i am home, away from you, i think i was having that stupid moody feeling. i love you baby girl, no doubt. i'm sorry for not being the person you want me to be half the time.

randomly enough, i would just like to say that so much has change withinthe family that i am living in. now that i am 18 and counting, my parents are just there for times when i need cash, when i need advice from them on certain matters and what have we not. my brother, doesnt feel like much of a man whom other girls have as for brothers. he's quiet and i havent got a clue what is happening in his life. nobody talks to each otehr much anymore. i dont make the effort too. i dont see the need to actually, for when i speak, it ends up it fights. what's the point then?

i just wanna be in school, at work, at trainings when my friends and babygirl is.