i am afraid to know what will come when mm lee passes. it is a matter of time i know but i would never wish for that day to happen. when one reaches a comfort zone, we just wanna stay there for as long as we possibly can. but now is the time to act again because the comfort zone seems blurry again. i mean singapore can be so vulnerable just like that. we are so small and with today's people getting smarter than the last, we cant exactly predict and expect everything to go according to as plan anymore. what if something bad happens and we are back and ground zero? mm lee being that important figure that holds and binds everything together means everything to us but perhaps there are others who dont see and understand. we cant expect everyone to think alike and be alike. whats gonna happen when hes gone? he who has started and created legendary history to singapore, our father. whats gonna happen? i dont wanna think because it scares me. i dont know why but it does. we are in good hands really. with the current leaders, whats there to be afraid and worry but its like a family tree in like a huge perspective. when the dad is gone, the others strive to go on in harmony but somehow we go wrong and drift. i dont know why but there will always be that wise figure in the family that means everything and once he is gone everything just seems to split up.
they say that as a couple, when one goes the other usually doesnt stay for long as well. i hope for it to not be true now.
with all these grief going around, i cannot help but drown in it as well. i miss my dad who's away covering the story that pm lee was suppose to be in. how many times i wish for us to be close. i do. i envy families who are close knitted. i wish it was easier to tell mom and dad about everything under the sun about my life. i wish they saw my achievements in lifesaving. i wish they saw me compete. i wish they saw and knew how long i have trained and yearn for where i am today. i wish they tell me they love me and that there are proud of me. i mean i know they do but i just wish for real verbal affection from them. it makes me happy with each meal that we have together but i get so shy and harsh with what i say to them. i want to, i want to turn back time and dance with you on your feet, where you make me tea and toast with marite and butter, where you picked my clothes for me every saturday and then we would head to your guitar class before meeting mom for lunch and then hanging out at your office while you did work and i played around. i know you show me you care by always giving in to what i need and want but i wish for more than material things. i wish you were here dad. i miss you and i am proud of you. in so many ways i take after you more than mom. i love you.
farewell mrs lee kuan yew, i never knew you but even so i already feel like i can understand and see what you have done for singapore and for your beloved family. a role model indeed, i would wanna take after your footsteps as a mother and wife when it is my turn.
Lately, he said, he had been looking at Christian marriage vows and was drawn to the words: “To love, to hold and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse till death do us part.”
“I told her, ‘I would try and keep you company for as long as I can.’ That’s life. She understood.” But he also said: “I’m not sure who’s going first, whether she or me.”
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