music: across the universe: i want to hold your hand

dear n, i remember when we were crazy over renting dvds at the small dvd mart just downstairs your place. almost every weekend we'd be picking shows together and then heading back up to your place to spend usually a lazy sunday afternoon away in each others embrace laughing or crying to whatever the show brought us to. it was simple and fun. we'd talk about the show after and sometimes it made us reflect on life together and sometimes it got us madly emotional that we would learn to appreciate each other more. then there were also times where i would insist in renting a scary show to watch at night just because i like it and you would make me stay over because you wouldn't be able to sleep alone in your room after.

i remember the bucket list, across the universe, the notebook and there were so may more...

we watched 'the notebook' the night before you were going for your rugby camp and for some reason or whatsoever, i got very emotionally upset and then i'd told you that i would love for you to be able to catch me one day as i run towards you and jump on you to give you a hug and a kiss to tell you how much i'ved missed you, just like in the show. i think it was then that i realize how much you meant to me and i didn't want to let you go. you then gave me a letter and thankfully it got me through the days without you.

it was always the small things that you did that got me weak in the knees and my heart bursting with all the love in the world. the cute scribblings and drawings you would leave me now and then, making me breakfast in the mornings when i stay over and just the feeling of knowing that you wanted me around to watch your games made me beam and contented. as young as i may have been, i knew it was right and i knew this was what i wanted. the good days were when we would laugh all day long and hold each other without a care at all as to what people may think of us and then we'd fall asleep in that comforting same position at night.

amazing how these memories stay with me after so many years, i don't know why either. i guess i've wished after it all ended that if only i had met you later in my life, maybe i would have seen the good in it all and learn to treasure it all the time. you see the thing with you was it was nice to be able to feel proud sitting in the stands and watching you play well during your games and having you did the same back to me. it was nice knowing that i had you to complete me because we could talk and you never ran away from anything. those were the good days, where i never liked cats but got used to tiesto being around.