i cant explain this feeling.

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them up
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

there's so much that i want to express but my fragile heart cannot relate in words. if i could, i would turn back time and start all over again. if i knew what was to come, i would make it right, right from the start. if i knew that human beings could fuck themselves up so bad, i would train myself to be stronger than i am now. if i knew that one could ever feel such emotional pain, a pain worst than a cut, a physical injury with blood spilling and broken bones, i would seal my heart with just myself and you. i would not wanna weather the bad storms. i would want to have a happily ever after like in fairytales.

but because i am only human and like all others, i make mistakes after mistakes, regrets after regrets. i think that ive grown and learnt so much more but then i am back at ground zero where i realize that itll never ever be enough.

i have a heart so bruised because of what i did to myself. no ones to be blamed but only myself. ive never known such stupidity that i could cause to myself but now i see. i cant tell you how much i hate myself, how much i wish i could just die silently of the pain in me. its hard and for the amount of time that i havent given up at all, i really should be proud of where i have come but im getting tired and really, right now i just wanna lay down forever.

once again, i am feeling more alone than ever. yea i have awesome friends but my dears, theres only so much that all of you can do and i know ill appreciate it all. theres so much that i can remember, and i just wanna rest now.