music: taylor swift: safe and sound

because it can't be true, good things don't happen to me. because of everything that has happened, it has scarred me. never really knew how bad but i realize now. these walls, these walls that i have built they won't come down as much as i want them to now. and the people around me, i'm not sure that they can help me. because this monster i have inside of me, it holds me back, it controls my mind and it really fucks me up. i try to let go, i really try but it's so hard. how do people walk away just like that, how do people change all too suddenly. i'm scared that i'll mess you up, i am scared that if that happens we won't have what we have now anymore. i am scared of everything that's to do with you. if i mess up, i'll be ruining everything and i'll be picking up the pieces again. if i can prevent that why not right? but my mind's kinda hazy now and my feelings are way too strong. i'm letting you in but i'm so afraid, i don't know if i can trust myself to not mess things up.