things happen and sometimes we least expect it. yes, this is gonna be one of those post in which i typed when i was listing to sad songs with a heavy heart. i guess like you said, i pushed my luck too far, thinking that you would be the one to love me a life time. i knew how i was, i knew what i was capable of doing but yet, maybe i really really never changed for you like i said i would. regrets after regrets but what's the point. it's gone. if i knew, i would have held you a little longer, kissed you a little more and just lay in bed with you just doing nothing at all. i still wanna do all those things we plan but hey, i've got to stop thinking that way.

and so i stomped into the office yesterday. i'm sorry guys, for that attitude. i couldn't hold back my tears. it comes on and off. i fought them back when i was speaking to sebby on tower. i fought them back when shiqin came into the toilet to ask if i were ok. but i let them flow freely when i was alone on tower. it hurts, like you said you hurt too. i let my attitude got the better of everything.

on wednesday i caught 'the accuracy of death' with my junior team mates. maybe like the actress, i've always had bad luck. i don't wanna fall in love. i just want to be happy. no more broken hearts and feeling like this.

i'll train so hard to become that sports woman i wanna be.



hey mom
why didn't you tell me
why didnt you teach me a thing or two
you just let me go, out into the world
you never thought to share what you knew
so i walked under a bus, i got hit by a train
keep falling in love, which is kind of the same

my laptop has been much of a bitch lately and my adaptor has officially died.

like that isn't bad enough, my hp charger's hasn't been working either! god damn it! everything is so against me.

training today. trials for NUS invitational. I guess I tried to do better despite my rotten left ankle and horrible throat which still hasn't healed. i am drained, so drained and i don't even know why. sigh! mentally and physically, i feel so upset :(

lately, i feel miserable. maybe it's the thought of  having one thing after another with not much of well deserved rest? maybe it's cos' i feel burnt out? maybe it's matters of the heart? i really don't know. sometimes, i wish i could just not be able to feel. sigh.

moments.

you know the little things in life can really lift a person's mood at times.
just a simple text message from you and i smile so wide.
the music that's playing on my ipod suddenly seems to sound a thousand times better.
my foot steps suddenly feels so light, as though i could fly.
and then i find myself going all out just for you.

silly but true.
is this how a person in love should feel?

H.A.N.D.S. 2008

we love lifesaving.

we love helping charity.

we'd do almost anything for the love of it all.

and so, there we were, H.A.N.D.S. 2008, an over night charity swim in which we were just suppose to be competing with other teams in the most number of laps to be swam.

pictures!

no one brought a mat but me ok! so we all squeezed into one pathetic small mat while NUS had something so much bigger and they were able to sleep nicely! anyways, it was quite an experience...the cold, the hunger and what not. when it was all over and the sun was up, everyone was so relieved and suddenly, everyone was awake and rushing to go home!

TAS Aquathlon 2008.

another joint race by the lifesaving and roadrace IG.
darsi and his partner (i can't recall who) had won 2nd place in their category. well done boys :)

as for me, my results were...terribly saddening..really...haha...coming up as the 4th swimmer but ending with the 10th postition just because my stupid arse run was freaking slow.

feast your eyes peeps:

did i mentioned, this fateful race, left me with a sprained left ankle for the first time! seriously, how it happened, is damn hilarious. the last 100 metres was covered with red carpet and so i wasn't able to see the uneven ground. so there i was, trying hard to looking all professional and stylo-milo and BAM! suddenly i felt a sharp pain cos i nearly fell when i twisted my left ankle. you know, i refused to believe that it was a sprain until i was lying in bed that night and my mom came into the room and shrieked when she saw my swollen ankle. obviously, i did not want to see a sinseh cos i was too chickened out to do that.

colour of blue, i've never seen grey green like your true.

"i've always wondered how it can be done,
to pick one,
who's gonna be my lover for life, my baby,
be there to hold me throught the night."

the hols are coming to an end. yes yes..a pity it is but then i actually can't wait to graduate. the thought of donning the pretty graduation gown seems so exciting. kinda like so near but yet so far. well, that's my only inspiration to graduate for now. haha. if not for that, i wouldn't wanna leave poly life. sounds scary..really. i mean where am i to go after this academic year? i don't even know if i'll make it to the uni. one thing's for sure though, i do not wanna start working, like full time. arrgghh!


so the only exciting part of my hols would in my opinion be my trip to malaysia, puala aur for silver cross. i swear i signed up for just the course and not because i was desperate to meet new friends or whatsoever. so there i was for three days and three nights, with my ex coach, many tp people, many kids from my coach's current lifesaving class and not forgetting family members. yes, i was nervous. no matter how god damn loud i can be, i can be freaking shy as well. anyways, i fitted in nicely i think. i mean i wasn't a loner at all. the good news would be i passed the test and i enjoyed very much the scorching sun, the soft sand and the beautifully clear waters :) and the bad news would be..well...there really wasn't any bad things to remember just that the journey was long and we were away from modernisation for a few days. it was cool..yea..been there once and twice and i'll go back for more! the pictures will come asap when i get hold of them!


do people yell at each other all the time and say the most hurtful things to one another but at the end of the day simply say sorry cos they think they are really sorry and just kiss and make up? i mean yea sure, i do that but thinking back now, why do people even yell in teh first place? because it was an instant reaction, because they couldn't control their feelings and what not.


i'll leave ya'll with a question: what sound do aligators make?


see ya'll later, aligators!

ellen degeneres

ellen degeneres is seriously one funny hot lesbian. watch it and be filled with balloons of laughter. i have never failed to not be glued to the television when i watch her shows. somehow, it really is amazingly funny. check out: if these walls could talk 2 starring ellen degeneres and sharon stone.

she inspired me and made me miss my baby girl so much more.

mermaid mania!

i seem to be waking early everyday which really is quite amazing for someone like me. then again, it's really because of working AM shifts and staying over at baby's place, even after knowing that she has to wake early the next day to work, that forces me to do so.

this morning, i decided to be a nice mommy to mermaid and played with her for quite abit till i decided that she was getting too excited for me to handle. i love her so much :)

baby girl says i don't blog about her. i love you very much la, really. you are the one i fight most with and tear the most with. it's so unbelievable but it's all true. stay with me?

school vs holidays.

now that school is out and it is offically know as 'THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE' already, i don't know if i'm less stress and having more fun.

FYP, work, trainings and simply just going out with friends are things that fill my holidays. when there was school, i whine like a pathetic lil' child. then again, everyone does. when school's out i whine too, i realise. the need to spend money seems more crucial. all the going out seem to not been helping tp release much stress and welcome more fun.

you see, when i go out it means the many temptations to spend on many things from food, to clothes, to books and magazines an to god knows what. hence, the need to work comes into place. i guess it's like a routine. i work, i spend and i work again. it's liek to replenish what i have lost. haa...but now that i'm eighteen, i try to save. the idea of being loading all in a stupid card sounds really good ya know.

and then there are the trainings and project meetings. when there was school, people seem to expect less cos the thought of school seem to make us look more pathetic and thus, people feel more for us and take pity on us. but now that school is so over, the demanding side of people comes out and everything seems more harsh. from the crazy timings to meet to the amount of research that has to be done. sigh!

so school days or the holidays? you decide.

E25C.

it's been two years in RP and i can't help but say that i love the school. it's been swapping around, mixing and making new friends in four different classes and i must say that all has bee wonderful but this class really rocked my brains till it exploded. no outcasting no fights, but pure fun, laughter and not forgetting our favourite past time, singing :) here goes..pictures...

patrick lazaroo. buk, this photo was meant for you.

monday's faci, lilian. always bully yulin and now you're trying to act nice. puff!

the sui! guys, song. jas thinks it's winter season in singapore. lol.
ian harris.
aargghh!
linie and me.

sam and andruew.
andruew you aren't much taller than linie.
friday's calss always rocks with ian!
brother! the guys on my class are quite...'flexible'.

winnie the pooh...keith!
linie, me and sam.
why you not camera shy one.

sven trying hard to look good.
jas wants to have many kids she says...and with weird names.
getting in touch with his gay side.
andruew looks hot in my over sized skirt.
shaun is our regular visitor from the class next door.

finally patrick unlocks the shy side of our giant friend.
patrick and jansher make a good team in singing.

rafidah!

sam thinks that when she moves her neck her butterfly can 'fly'. we always remember jansher as the joker.

my classmates have nice camera skills. our giant friend.

patrick withour spongebob. i became an art piece for sam so she could capture me.

vick says 'please la sven, let me copy your answers!'

sven actually being useful on the last week of school and our camera shy giant friend.
samantha pops in on a regualer basis although she only has class with us on fridays.

me, vick and jas.

rp rains indoors too.
my long lost brother.
see, we look so much alike.

the high class majong player.

even the macho guy need his beauty muscle sleep.
the frequent late comer who likes to walk in 'fashionably' late.
clive, the faci who rocked our pea brains and took us trhough sixteen weeks of torture. the gamblers of the class.
then we have those who like to act hardwordking but really are just playing games. and we have the posers wannabe. another 'mugger' wannabe.